The day before yesterday we spent another night in a basement, the room where we slept at, the four of us was used as a storage for bottles and empty cardboard boxes, we managed to turn it into a living room, with two rather soft mattresses and covers, we laid trying to sleep with our heads and bodies as close to each other as possible. It is quite an experience to sleep with two small children, ever so energetic, even while they are asleep. Yet I worry about Nahida, she does tray to take things as calm as possible, but I see the frustration accumulating and building up, her tone of voice is changing and she become angry for any reason.

The day before yesterday we spent another night in a basement, the room where we slept at, the four of us was used as a storage for bottles and empty cardboard boxes, we managed to turn it into a living room, with two rather soft mattresses and covers, we laid trying to sleep with our heads and bodies as close to each other as possible.  It is quite an experience to sleep with two small children, ever so energetic, even while they are asleep.  Yet I worry about Nahida, she does tray to take things as calm as possible, but I see the frustration accumulating and building up, her tone of voice is changing and she become angry for any reason.

Being out your domicile, your neighborhood, even when seeking refuge and safety for your loved ones, is definitely a frustrating experience. Having to change your living habits, your eating habits and your personal behavior in such a short while, is burdensome, and becomes worse when no body knows what will happen next.

Yesterday we slept early in the same room, it was a bit cold then, so we had to put more blankets on top. The children slept, thanks be to God, safe and sound, however we could not.  Tanks were patrolling up and down the main street to Bethlehem, knocking down walls, traffic lights, and shelling any thing that seemed to be a threat…  The end result was a night of complete fiasco. The TV was on, the mobile was on, this time I wished that no body would call, the ringing by itself was no longer a good sign. We managed to have some hours of sleep in the early morning.  Now a days, if we mange to have two to three hours of sleep, is by itself, an accomplishment.

In god’s grace I have been managing to come to the office and work for a few hours here in Beit Sahour, it was a blessed decision that we established three different field offices one in Beit Sahour, another in Beit Jala and Ramallah, just in case we could not work off our main offices in Jerusalem.  Some of the staff members are stuck in Beit Jala, we call them every day, and we could hear the sounds of their new neighbor, the Tank…  Since our work does effect the lives of so many people we are called to maintain and upkeep such responsibility, during the last ten months we have been implementing several labor intensive programs of rehabilitation and renovation in schools, community centers and parks for children, and have managed to create temporary Jobs for more than 700 families.  Many of them have been out of work throughout the last 18 months.  Despite the escalating violence that is surrounding us, people are still coming to the office asking when the new projects will start.  These men, endanger their lives to come and ask for food to their families in dignity… yet we cannot provide, all of our work is at a standstill, the tanks we exclaim, … wait till the tanks leave.

I worry that we are becoming more and more accustomed to the temporary and the unjustness … One good night sleep in a month is enough, One day of work is brilliant, One week of school is a great academic achievement, Two houses demolished is better than the whole town, All the main streets blocked … well … we still have the narrow alleys, at least the electricity is cut off during the day…. of course we are thankful to god for all that happens in our life, but let no man abuse that, let no political structure, blinded with arrogance and superiority claim the killing and the dehumanization of people as a just and rightful act.

Nahida has called and is worried…. I leave you all in Gods grace and in peace.