I would like to give you a brief about my life. In 1992 I got married to a Palestinian who lived and worked in Germany. I left everything behind and followed the destiny of my husband. I lived in Germany for 8 years where I gave birth to our two daughters, Salam and Luna. We had such a wonderful life and some how I adapted myself to living elsewhere, a place other than my hometown of Beit Sahour, Palestine.
I would like to give you a brief about my life. In 1992 I got married to a Palestinian who lived and worked in Germany. I left everything behind and followed the destiny of my husband. I lived in Germany for 8 years where I gave birth to our two daughters, Salam and Luna. We had such a wonderful life and some how I adapted myself to living elsewhere, a place other than my hometown of Beit Sahour, Palestine. It is not easy to try and live and raise children in a culture different to the one I was raised in. I am the type of person who is friendly and gets along with others very well. We built so many friendships with German families, but somehow I always felt a little like a stranger trying her best to mix with the other culture. As the years passed by, I had sworn that when my eldest daughter reaches the age of six and it is time for her to go to first grade, I would return home and have her educated in Beit Sahour. I wanted to raise my two daughters in their own hometown where they could be proud to say I am a Christian raised in Beit Sahour and I am a Palestinian. I believed when they finish high school they are free to go and study abroad if the chance is there for them.
Since our return to Beit Sahour, the political situation has deteriorated terribly. Each month we say things should get better, but we are wrong, things are only getting worse and worse. Life is unbearable here. My two daughters cry with fear from what they watch on TV. They watch how small children, from Palestinians and Israelis, die due to the nonsense of this conflict and bloody war waged between our people. Since we have returned home, we have been living from our savings; we have no income, like most people now. I managed to get a job at Beit Sahour Municipality. The pay is worthless, but at least I get out of the house to do something good. Please do not misunderstand me, I am lucky to have a job and I am really happy with it, especially as so many Palestinians are unemployed and starving. Our financial situation is good compared to countless thousands in Palestine. But if this situation continues, and Israel pursues its policy of siege and repeated invasions of our city and all of Palestine, the future is very bleak indeed. Many are suffering from hunger and poverty, and I fear our savings will run out soon, especially as there is no chance for my husband to find work. The business we started when we returned is only going deeper into debt and most of the time is closed due to the curfew imposed by the Israeli military. I am very worried for the future for my two daughters and for all the children in Palestine. We live a worthless life. We expect to come under invasion and curfew at anytime. We live under such a strict siege that we can’t even leave Beit Sahour. We haven’t been able to enter Jerusalem and stroll around the beautiful old city and to visit our holy sites their.
I can’t bear it anymore, to watch my people live in such circumstances; the humiliation and brutality that are suffered are inhuman. Every time I look at the TV it has become the routine for us to hear bad news about Nablus, Jenin, Gaza, everywhere. I watch the humiliation endured by the men, women and children at the check points while trying to travel around their area to look for a source of income to bring back for their families to be able to live. I am sick of watching children shot to death during the random shelling by Israeli soldiers. I am sickened watching mothers mourning and weeping for their lost children. Yesterday I saw the blood belonging to a 7-year-old Palestinian child killed during a curfew lift. The scene of children and adults running when they heard shooting so close to them, desperately looking for a safe place to hide from the attack. I am sick of watching older men weep over their homes demolished by the Israeli troops. I am sick of watching these suicide bombings in Israeli and I also cry when I see an Israeli child or mother or old man lying dead in the street. I still have a good life in Beit Sahour, although it is a very harsh life, but not in comparison to the life of the refugees who live under the most inhuman circumstances and conditions. When I say I had enough, I can still pack my bags and leave this deadly county and look for a safer shelter in which my family can live as I have a German passport as well as my Palestinian passport.
Each day I loose the confidence I once had for a brighter future and I am loosing my faith because I see the world watching and doing nothing. The United States who has so much power to act swiftly and stop this ongoing brutality seems reluctant to do so. More are killed every day and Israel thinks that by its repeated invasions into our towns and refugee camps and by the arrests and assassinations it is committing against us daily will stop the suicide bombers from continuing their resistance against the Israeli illegal occupation. Israel yet has another solution to ‘protect’ its citizens from us by building a wall, leaving us as prisoners in little more than compounds. That is no solution for peace. I do not want to emigrate again and leave my hometown, but I do not know what else I can do to help my family. Please, help us in establishing peace and justice for both Palestinians and Israelis.
Thank you and God bless.
Suzan Sahori
